Never been on a Horse?
Never Been on a Horse? Here’s What to Expect When You’re Expecting to Ride
So, you’ve decided to straddle your first horse. Congratulations on choosing a creature that’s basically a mobile hay bale with attitude! Before you find yourself face-to-face with a 1,000-pound animal capable of making a full-speed sprint or a sudden halt at the slightest rumors in the bushes, here’s a quick rundown of what to expect, do, and how to prepare — with a dash of humor because, let’s be honest, you’re probably going to need it.
What to Expect: The Horse’s Reality Check
You’re Not the Boss—The Horse Is.
Your horse is basically a giant furry friend with a PhD in “I do what I want.” It might decide to lick you affectionately or suddenly spook at a butterfly. Remember, the horse’s world is a combination of snack time, naps, and suspicious noises.The Mounting Dance.
Getting on a horse for the first time is a mix of gymnastic finesse and awkward flailing. Expect assistance from your instructor, a few “try again” moments, and maybe an internal debate on whether cirque du soleil was your true calling.Balance Is Your New Bestie.
Riding a horse is not like sitting on a stationary chair. You’ll wiggle, bob, and possibly flail your arms like you're swatting flies. This is normal. Soon you’ll develop an awkward “I’m not falling off” posture that counts as basic riding skill.Communication Is a Whole New Language.
Turns out, horses don’t follow your Instagram likes or commands in English. You’ll learn the subtle art of leg pressure, rein pulling, and that eye contact means, “Are you gonna give me cookies or what?”
What to Do: Survive (and Thrive!)
Listen to Your Instructor
Seriously, they’ve seen it all — from “I think my horse is broken” to “I just rode bareback into a haystack.” Follow instructions carefully, because safety is key.Wear Proper Gear
Helmet? Check. Boots with heels? Check. Pants that don’t scream “I’m about to do yoga”? Double-check. Avoid flip-flops unless you want an accidental pedicure.Stay Calm and Speak Softly
Horses can sense fear and will either be spooked or think it’s playtime. Channel your inner Zen master and whisper sweet nothings instead of screaming like you just saw a ghost.Don’t Forget to Smile
This might be terrifying, hilarious, or both. Laugh at yourself because falling off is as much a rite of passage as that first ride itself.
How to Prepare: Before You Face Your Equine Adventure
Hydrate and Eat a Light Snack
Riding is surprisingly physical. You want enough energy without feeling like your stomach is auditioning for a rodeo.Stretch Like You’re Warming Up for the Olympics
Horse riding engages muscles you didn’t know existed. Touch your toes, wiggle your hips, and maybe practice your best “solid core” face.Practice Staying on Moving Things
Ride a bumpy bus, a rocking chair, or even a mechanical bull if you can find one. It’s practice for dealing with unexpected horse shenanigans.Mentally Prepare for Some Horse Breath
It’s not roses. It’s not minty fresh. It’s… well, horsey. Get comfy with that reality.
Final Thought: You May Not Tame the Horse, But You Will Have a Blast Trying
Your first horseback riding experience might feel like you’re auditioning for a circus act, but with patience and a good sense of humor, you will learn to enjoy this ancient, majestic, and occasionally goofy bond between human and horse. So saddle up — adventure awaits! And if all else fails, just remember: there’s always the pony carousel for next time.
